Even the most perfect marriage will hit some snags here and there. When it comes to life, nothing is perfect, and that’s okay! People have their faults and bad days, and everyone should be allowed to make mistakes.
If you’re having a tough time finding happiness in your marriage, you can improve how you and your partner feel. You know that you’re in love with each other, so it’s worth it to work towards a life that’s as happy as it can possibly be.
Keep the following tips in mind as you build your happy marriage:
1. Step outside yourself. It’s a good idea to consider what it’s like to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes. If you run into a conflict or disagreement, instead of concentrating solely on how you’re feeling, consider your partner’s feelings first.
2. Pick your battles. Sometimes fights are inevitable because you’re two different human beings with two sets of opinions. Determine whether your feelings are truly worth fighting for and where you can reach a compromise. Perhaps you’ve gotten into a petty little fight about something unimportant. Learn from that mistake to avoid that unhappiness in the future.
3. Learn how to argue. Avoiding disagreements entirely usually carries unhealthy consequences. Both partners may simply repress certain angers, with neither one getting what they need out of the relationship. Learn to disagree without getting into an all-out argument.
• When you disagree, avoid saying hurtful things.
• If things are getting heated, take a break for a while and come back to the conversation when emotions aren’t running as high.
• Use phrases such as “I feel upset when you do this…” instead of lashing out with name calling or accusing your partner of never doing anything right.
4. Spend some time apart. Time alone is an important part of any marriage too. Of course you enjoy your time together, but you also need to explore who you are as an individual. Allow each other time to spend with friends and take time for yourself to enjoy an activity that you like and they don’t.
5. Work on communication. Some couples will naturally communicate well, and others won’t. If you feel that you’re not connecting, make an effort to improve the lines of communication. Take time out of each day to really connect with your partner. Talk about feelings and issues instead of just turning on the TV. To find practical ways to reduce marital conflict, manage anger, encourage each other, and listen, a good book to read is Communication: Key to Your Marriage: The Secret to True Happiness.
6. Go out on dates. Go out with your partner on dates just like you used to when you first got together. Relationships can stagnate just because people are given the opportunity to grow apart. Plan your dates as an important priority in your schedule.
7. Learn how to listen. The spouse always has to deal with a lot of venting. This is because you’re likely best friends and you should be there for each other in good times and bad. If your partner has had a bad day, be there to listen to them. Simply knowing how to listen can make your relationship grow stronger.
Finding happiness in your marriage doesn’t have to be hard. Incorporate these tips into your daily lives and enjoy the benefits of a relationship that deepens as the years go by.