Most of us are taught to be people pleasers from a very young age, so the idea that there are any advantages at all in being disliked is probably a new one for many of us. The biggest advantage is that it frees us to be our authentic self, shaking off the shackles of society expectations as we forge our own destinies.
There are actually many advantages to being disliked and unpopular. Here are just a few.
Being True to Yourself
You may wish to be popular and the life of the party at work or school, but popularity is not as enduring as being true to yourself. Being true to yourself means making smart choices that allow you to look in the mirror each day and be proud of what you see.
Not Bowing to Peer or Parental Pressure
The idea of being ourselves can be almost unthinkable when we are children, as we bow to our parents’ wishes so they will praise us. We are also prone to give in to peer pressure, even when we know it is wrong, because ‘everyone is doing it.’ For example, millions of people all over the world use heroin, but that does not make it a valid lifestyle choice any sane person would wish to make. Yet countless numbers of people experiment and get hooked on drugs because of peer pressure, from the nicotine in cigarettes to the alcohol in beer, wine and spirits.
Setting Your Own Goals
By listening to all the naysayers who might have written you off as useless, you are free to set your own goals. In fact, being told you can never do something is often the inspiration to achieve exactly what they say you will never be able to do. It’s fun to defy expectations. And on the way to your goals, you will find positive people who will support you.
Achieving Your Dreams
A lot of people talk big about what they are going to do or be. If you’ve ever been to a high school reunion, you have probably been surprised to find that the people who were so popular and seemed to have the most potential have achieved little or nothing in their lives. By contrast, there are those who were disliked or even bullied, but used those negative experiences to spur them on to success. As the phrase goes, “Living well is the best revenge.” Achieve your dreams, and never stop dreaming.
Being Freed from Time Wasters and Meaningless Distractions
If you are unpopular and disliked, you will save a lot of time and energy by not having to jump through all the hoops everyone expects you to. You can say no and mean it without worrying what other people think or getting saddled with all the terrible jobs that no one else wants to do. You can focus on your own career instead of having to save the butt yet again of your lazy colleague in the next cubicle who is actually earning more than you.
We are not talking about being mean or spiteful, but of living your life with honesty and integrity. By doing this, you will set an example for others and attract other sincere people to you. You will often become the person whose opinion everyone respects because you are such a good example of a person in tune with their feelings and successful in all areas of his/her life.
Now that you have discovered the main advantages of being disliked, go on – live a little. See how many false friends you can weed out of your life by just being your authentic self. Chances are you will never even miss them as you move forward to achieve all your goals and dreams.